This week we’re both stepping up to the mic to talk about times that we had to realize and value our worth. For Amber, it was a relationship. For Lindsey, it was a job. Read how we gained clarity on what we wanted and had the bravery to step up and receive it.
First up, Amber:
“Walk away from what you care about.”–said no one ever.
Sometimes it’s the things that we care about that most that hold us back from what we are truly destined to become.
There is no doubt about my drive for the things I love. When I am passionate about something or someone, I question nothing and dive in head first. I will invest, I will push. I will submerge myself, my heart, and my soul into it. When there is something that I care about, it/they deserve all of me. Unfortunately the things we are passionate for, driven to, and invest ourselves in don’t always reciprocate the same drive and support. So when that happens and the ball is in your court… what’s your next move?
There was a time (well, there have been multiple but lets just talk about one) that I felt stuck. I felt stuck and I didn’t even realize it. I found myself continuously investing my time, energy and heart into a relationship that I was incredibly passionate about. Relationships can be hard. Whether its personal or business, dealing and working side by side with someone else in can always be a challenge. I dove into this relationship head first. I sacrificed myself emotionally and financially and I allowed it to take over my life. Now, remember I had no idea I was doing these things while in the middle of it all.
If you know me, I’m stubborn. I know, I know, hard to believe from this bubbly headed Taurus, but its true. If a situation isn’t working for me, I refuse to give up. I am not a quitter. Dave and Becky (my parents) never raised me that way. You deal with the hand you’ve been dealt and you make it work. My question is: what happens when you have nothing left to give? The relationship I was in started to become suffocating. I constantly felt like I couldn’t breathe and there was no way out. No one to turn to, no help in sight. I continued to give and give and invested day in and day out, but did not receive what I needed in return to be fulfilled and happy.
So, what do you do?
What did I do?
….I left. Ah. It even takes my breath away to type it.
I don’t do those things. Was it easy? Was I happy now? Screaming for joy? Skipping down fields of daisies?
Of course not. The fear of uncertainty lied ahead and that was horrific. The thought of being alone without the support of someone along my side anymore was so sad and scary. The judgements of friends and family that were sure to pour from the world around threw me into a constant state of anxiety. What will people think, say and believe about the situation?
It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I was suddenly engrossed in a million thoughts.
Was I a quitter?
I should have done more.
Should I go back?
But I quickly learned…that Its OK. Let me say it again.
IT IS OK.
Life, bravery, is not about living a fearless life. HELL NO. It’s about facing that fear and choosing to go full speed ahead THROUGH the thing you’re scared of.
Am I happy now? YES. Again…
I AM HAPPY.
I now feel a freedom and happiness that I haven’t felt in quite some time. By letting go I am now doing what I love, surrounded by the things I love, and embraced by an amazing community of people. Easy, no. But your worth is WORTH FIGHTING FOR. Easy is not what being brave is about. Brave is hard. Brave is scary. Brave is knowing your worth.
Next up, Lindsey:
I had a job once, as we all do. But this job was different. It was a job that I felt so much passion for. The position was not easy to get and I trained hard for it. I happily put in tons of work, often waking up early or staying late to make each project more special than the last. Without question, I threw myself into this chance at a new adventure, a new start.
Everything was great. I was investing in what I loved and knew I had so much more to offer. Then weekly schedules were out.
After months of hard work I was surprised by the hours and classes I was being given. At first I thought “It’s ok. I’ll just work hard and prove that I deserve to have a prime time schedule and a little more seniority.” Weeks passed and it felt like things were continuously going down the opposite road. I called meetings with the owners to express how I was feeling. I expressed my passion for the company and what I had to offer. But it became clear we just weren’t on the same page. For the first time I suddenly felt under appreciated and unhappy. Working in this environment started to feel much more like a brown nose-ing competition between employees and management and much less like acknowledgement was given based on hard work, passion education.
When my work was not being valued it frustrated me to no end. I couldn’t understand how this these people could not see what I saw in myself. I began doubting my skills and suddenly I found myself second guessing all my choices which made me angry. Seeking an outlet, I ended up projecting my anger on everyone else around me. I found myself complaining about my schedule, starting to resent going to work. The reason I wanted to be a part of this team became so clouded with negativity. I had lost my “why”. I had lost my reason for showing up every day.
I decided to ask myself some questions in order to weigh the pros and cons of my current situation.
Would this company see what I saw in myself?
Would I be wasting my gas tank of energy on trying to make them see what I saw?
Would wasting my energy frustrate me and would that frustration seep into my other work?
Would staying complacent in a job that no longer drove inspiration breed more negativity and self doubt in myself?
Was what I had to offer as an employee valuable?
Did I deserve to have more than I was being given?
I found myself answering yes to all these questions.
I made the decision to leave the company.
Walking away from something you care about is never easy. You leave your job, you instantly fear for your bank account. You leave your lover, you instantly fear you’ll be alone forever. But what’s worse than leaving that job or person or place where you aren’t being valued?
The initial blow of walking away hits hard. But eventually you will thank yourself for having the courage to take that step. Stepping away from something is often times the first step in the right direction towards living the life you want. In my case, stepping away from this job gave me more time in my schedule to create. I was less tired, more happy and I was able to create a higher quality amount of work. This resulted in a raise at my other job and more time to train clients privately.
Remember this: The work you create is not on sale. Never settle for less than you deserve. The second you think you deserve more think you’re being given, YOU’RE RIGHT. And that my friends, is a very brave realization indeed.
Know. Your. Worth.
Amber and Lindsey